Years
ago I was managing a corporate owned family style restaurant. I fondly
refer to this experience as the “boot camp of restaurant
management.”
It was late Sunday morning,
and the after-services church crowd was filing in. The place was nearly
packed when a transient walked in the door. He was covered in a layer of
mud, which had crusted over his extremely odorous grease-stained jeans.
His matted hair also
contained many layers of indistinguishable flora and fauna that he had
obviously slept on.
In his hand he was carrying
a plastic soda bottle filled with dirt clods. As he walked through the
restaurant, he parted the sea of patrons like Moses, reeking with a foul
and disgusting odor. Glancing about, quite satisfied with his reception,
he yelled loudly, “I want to see the goddamned manager!”
Overcoming the urge to
renounce my position, I quickly walked up to him and looked him straight
in his bloodshot eyes and said, “Can I help you?” He took a long
pregnant pause, while he once more surveyed the look of shock and horror
on all the faces in the restaurant.
Smiling at me smugly he
said, “If you give me a cheeseburger and a Coke, I will leave.” Then
he winked at me like an ornery leprechaun, with emphasis on the CON.
Silence befell the room as
the spellbound church crowd waited for my response. I yelled to the
cook, “Jimmy, get this gentleman a cheeseburger!”
While the burger was
cooking he explained to me that he was from another planet, his
rendezvous ship had failed to pick him up, and he did not have a ride
home.
I
took up a collection for him to take a taxi instead. Everyone in the
restaurant was eager to help his cause. Anything they could offer to
ensure his timely departure was quickly put into the hat.
As you can see in this
illustration, this “gentleman” utilized his repulsive nature and his
exceptional ability to manipulate others using his awareness of typical
human Response Q’s to win favors.
In this case he was hungry
and had serious emotional and mental problems, yet he never begged for
the meal. Out of some sort of self-esteem he devised a way to obtain his
food by “tuning in” to typical human response factors.
I
went along with the scam for several reasons. The sheer genius of his
presentation was worthy of a meal. I never mind being conned if the
artist displays a playful sense of humor and ingenuity.
My last reason for going
along with his scam was because he promised me a tour of the mother ship
when they returned for him someday.
To me, finding the humor in
situations like this allows me to enter a doorway of acceptance. A wise
man once said: “A moment of pure acceptance is equal to a thousand
years of piety.”
The Consideration Q’s
this man gave me, prompting me to give him his meal, was when he winked.
This told me volumes about his intent. With a simple jovial wink
he prompted me to go along with the show, and let me know he was
basically harmless.
I in turn used
Consideration Q’s by referring to him as a “gentleman.” Just
imagine how the outcome may have been significantly different if I would
have hollered: “Jimmy, get this dirty bum a cheeseburger!” Terms of
respect are recognized by everyone from all walks of life as vital
Consideration Q’s. No human being---or in this case, alien---deserves
anything less.